08 May 2011

My experienced for IUI (intra-uterine insemination)

Having this PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) not as easy you might be thinking. I knew it painless but it almost killing me. Shoot a question like "Anak skang dah berapa?" or "Knp tak ada anak lagi" hurting and killing me the most. Ada juga certain people yang dont even know me well pastu throw me mean words like "Azy dah hilang naluri keibuan sebab tak ada anak lagi" this was what he told my other half and it was killing me the most untill now. Another thing when my colleague 24/7 asyik la cerita pasal anak la pasal her siblings yg nak getting pregnant la..baby on the way la..she keep on repeating again and again. If let say once in a while i just dont mind ni like everyday. Annoying gile!!! Kat rumah tak blh ke share the story dengan your other half.

The desire to get a baby by own sangat sangat tinggi. I did try few times had a conversation with my other half and closest friend but it won't help much but a trillion thanks to closest friend and my other half because trying to help and be there for me. Apologies for being extra sensitive. I cant stop thinking to get baby on my own. Its a stage of difficulties which totally I can't handle it anymore. You may have 1001 thinking about me but trust me its even tougher than what you ever think. For a these while memang saya struggle bersabar. But this time nak jumpa relatives pun rasa malas suddenly paranoid if people might asking me about anak. Sigh...

I am having my IUI (intra-uterine insemination) procedure last Wednesday. This procedure is a procedure used to help people who have been unable to conceive on their own become pregnant. Its consider painless and a very short procedure something similar to Paps smear. Its a procedure which was performed by threading a very thin flexible catheter through the cervix and injecting washed sperm directly into the uterus. During or after the IUI procedure you might have some of discomfort such as cramping and minor injury to the cervix that leads to bleeding or spotting. The whole process takes about 40minutes to 1 hours. The IUI process about 15 minutes and afterward you need to have rest about 40 minutes. After the IUI I had cramps on my right ovary, i think its where my mature follicles was release. A little bit difficult for me to walk and sit in the office.

I pray hard for having a successfully procedure. I hope if I can conceive and become pregnant and have such a healthy and beautiful baby on my own.

11 April 2011


Lately ni rasa kusut semacam Banyak mengelamun...buat silap at work which was cost you some amount... terlajak....supposed fetched hubby at work tapi boleh plak tersampai rumah... tottaly demotivated. The desire yang mengatasi segala-galanya... I'm hopeless

25 March 2011

Pregnancy Planning : Cycle 3 (Day 1)

Tomorrow will start my day 2 and i might taking clomide 100mg since my follicles respond to that dosage. Waiting for my follicles size result on day 10 and day 13 Full tracking via ultrasound.

I need 110 % moral support from my bed mate.

I need like 1001 sweet memories and happy moment to have a lot of happy thought.

I need 10001 jokes to make me laugh and distress myself

I need a trillion one smile to fade all my sadness away.....

Its all I need at this moment.

From day 1 i knew the result was failed i wont have a tears in front of him. Pretend that I am strong enough to face this kind of situation. He saying that "Allah knows why" and dont be sad. "KITA PUNYA USAHA ALLAH PUNYA KUASA"

23 March 2011

Mission : Failed

My pregnancy planning cycle 2 was failed
Another frustration just begin...............

09 March 2011

Pregnancy Planning (Cycle 2)

Subfertility : 2years +
Clinical Diagnosis: PCOS
Drug Regiment : Clomid 100mg (Day 2 - Day6)
Estradiol (Day 2-Day14)

I have 3 perfect follicles size on my left ovary on my day 10, I was like 'wow bestnye'. On my day 14 I only have 1 perfect follicle on my right ovary (20mm x 25mm). Supposedly the doctor's required 2 but since I only have 1 she decided to break the follicle by giving me a shot. 36hours after the shot requires me to be with him (u know what i mean).

I really hope this cycle will succeed, I really don't want to go through to the next round with IUI or IVF things. I really don't know how to cope with this kind of failure since I struggle to conceive myself and went through like 1001 obstacles.

I really wanna have mine by my own. I can't bear with a full bag of envies looking at others with their baby on the way or they were already have. I wanna stop the feelings of menyusahkan everytime he send me up for medical appointment.

03 March 2011

Tomorrow will be my day 10 on my 2nd cycle. Hopefully the eggs will grow bigger than last time. I wanna have perfect size during my day 14.

Tips to spice up your love :

- recall all the sweets memories together such as
1. your first honeymoon.
2. The very first time he turns you on.
3. the sexiest thing he ever done for you.
4. your first kiss with him.
5. the best sex position.

Its all about happy thought. Trust me you will destress yourself and spice up your relationship.

17 February 2011

Honeymoon Desert

Agak-agak....if Im not a pregnant woman ada tak orang nak bawa I makan semua ni....
Look yummy la..........
Oh please.....